How to profit from life's losses

Ever notice how everyone's on a low fat diet after the heart attack?

 

Everyone's an ideal spouse after they've been served with papers?

Everyone's a financial genius after they emerge from bankruptcy?

Today, we're trained to judge our success on the size of our bank account and the deals we make. When I had my own successful business, that's what I thought, too. Being a successful CEO, I figured if I just worked hard enough so I'd wind up on top.

Failure, I thought, is something that happens to the other guys.

That's when it happened to me.

Money, power, prestige. Gone.

My business and position as CEO? Gone, too!

I lost everything, I thought was important.

The good news was, I just THOUGHT they were important.

Although I didn't know it then, I had been given a gift — a Gift of Devastation, that is something negative that happens to you that forces positive changes into your life and it changed everything about me. In the end, it made me more successful, positive and well-balanced person, too.

We can all recognize a Gift of Devastation. It's the "A-ha!" that comes at the darkest of times. Speak with anyone who's had a life-changing experience, and they'll tell you how much something very negative has led them to something very positive. They might have a higher positive spiritual awareness or they might just live each day with joy.

Still need convincing? Look how our country pulled together after 9/11. I talked to hundreds of people, for a research project, and realized this tragedy had gotten people to actually started talking and thinking — and not just our friends and family, but strangers,  at the corner store or across the country.

"I never really appreciated just how important (fill in the blank) was, until now," they'd say. What filled in the blank varied from person to person, but suddenly we all sensed that there was more to life than profits and possessions.

Like most of you, the people closest to me were safe — at least physically — during my Gift of Devastation. But something was missing in my life. It wasn't success that was missing. It was significance.

Over years of study I have noticed that many very busy people have the same symptoms: They have a gorgeous house, but are hardly around to enjoy it. They eat at private lunch clubs, but are still hungry inside. Their expensive watches can't keep their time from slipping away.

They have kids, but they may never see or really appreciate them.

That was all me, until involuntary unemployment and my Gift of Devastation kept me home.

Almost every night when I came home my son Dayton would say: "Pick me up, Daddy, it's good for you." And when I finally took the couple of minutes to listen and act, I found he was right.

I had been rushing, rushing, rushing — because I wanted everything to be perfect. I finally realized that I had to stop waiting for life to get perfect to be happy.

Over time, the life I could never find seemed to fall into my lap. In business, so often we're taught to CYA. But instead of “Cover You’re a__”, here's my version: “Change Your Attitude”.

•        Start each day with an awareness that you are here for a purpose other than to satisfy your personal demands and add stuff to your life. I do this with a few morning minutes of meditation and prayer. Other people read a book or take a walk. With practice, you'll find your own path to peace and self-awareness.

•        Make service to others a primary focus. Start a mentoring program, be a big brother or sister, call a local non-profit and ask if they need volunteers. Look for programs for needy kids, animals or families they are highly beneficial.

•        Slow down. I was always so busy pushing for the next big break that sometimes I ran right past it. So take a breath, enjoy life a bit, and you'll be surprised how many opportunities show up around the corner.

•        Start now. You don't have to remake your whole life overnight. Remember, you're choosing to act — before a Gift of Devastation is forced on you. If you keep at it, when you look back you'll be amazed how far you've come, and so will your loved ones. And while I may believe in deathbed conversions, acting ahead of time is a whole lot more satisfying.

There's nothing magical about these actions. The results, however, can be magical, because not only will you feel better about yourself, but often your professional life will take off, too. 

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